The Reunion
by Nyghtraven
Summary: It's been a long time, but Revan's finally been found, but not all the news Carth receives is good.
1. Chapter 1

Admiral Carth Onasi sat in the temporary office he used within the Republic Headquarters on Coruscant. The single window behind him looked out over the city, but the view was not spectacular. The office was small, almost cramped, but Carth didn't really care. The desk seemed to groan under piles of paperwork and reports, but he couldn't seem to focus his mind on any of it. He heard the door open and glanced up as his secretary stepped in. Her face was framed in short, blond curls.

"Excuse me, Admiral?"

"Yes?" He looked up to meet her bright green eyes.

"There is… someone to see you, Sir."

"Oh? Who?"

"Uh, she refused to give me a name, Sir, but she's carrying a lightsaber, so I would assume she's a Jedi."

Even after all these years, his heart skipped a beat, wondering, hoping…

"Send her in, please."

A moment later, the cloaked figure strode into the office and closed the door behind her. As she pulled the hood back and looked at him, he couldn't help feeling his heart sink seeing only the Jedi Exile standing before him. She tilted her head, and arched one eyebrow, apparently reading his expression.

"Don't look so disappointed, Admiral, although I know you must have been expecting someone else."

Realizing his lack of manners, Carth shook his head and stood up. "I'm sorry."

She chuckled, "Don't be, that's actually why I'm here. Though… you might want to sit back down."

As she spoke, Carth felt a sense of dread wash over him, as though he knew he was not going to like what she had to say. He nodded and sat down as she moved closer and took a seat across from him.

"I've found Revan."

"You… found her?"

"Yes, but she's been badly injured, I'm not even sure how long she'll survive. I suppose I could have saved time just sending you a message, but I figured that you'd rather hear this in person, in case..."

His breath caught in his chest as he tried to swallow the lump that formed in his throat. It had been ten years since Revan had left, but he had never given up hope of finding her again.

"Where is she?" He finally managed.

"She's at the medical facility on Telos. It was the closest place I could find once I got back in known space with her."

He nodded, although the coincidence wasn't lost on him. His home world, Telos, had been through so much, and now held the one thing that meant everything to him. He stood up again.

"Were you planning on going back to her?"

"Of course, I was planning on you coming, just let me know when you're ready."

"Thank you. I just have to deal with some stuff first, let people know I'm leaving."

The Exile nodded, "My ship is in docking bay 54, I'll be waiting."

She stood and left the office. Carth leaned against his desk, his thoughts a swirling chaos as he tried to focus on what had to be done. He was an Admiral now, and couldn't just take off without taking care of things first.

* * *

It took him an hour to finally finish the last of what needed to be done, but finally he was on his way to the docking bay the Exile had mentioned with his pack slung over his shoulder. Upon reaching the docking bay he stopped, staring at the ship. Some part of his mind had half expected to see the _Ebon Hawk_ sitting there, but this was a different ship.

"She's not the _Hawk_ , but serves well enough." The Exile had moved over beside him, and again appeared to be reading his thoughts.

He looked over at her, "Am I that transparent?"

"Not really, I'd still be flying the _Hawk_ , if… well, never mind that, are you ready to go?"

"Yeah, I'm ready."

She nodded and headed for the boarding ramp and he followed her onto the ship. It was similar to the _Ebon Hawk_ , a slightly newer model of the same class.

As the ship lifted off and she turned it spaceward, the Exile looked over at the Admiral. She had taken her place in the pilot's seat, and he was uncomfortably settled in the co-pilot's chair. She laughed.

"Relax, Admiral, I really do know how to fly this thing."

He sighed, "I'm sorry, it's just…"

"You're used to being the one in control. I understand."

He forced himself to try to relax, although his mind kept churning as his thoughts tumbled over themselves in his mind. He felt a small bit of relief when he saw the star field in front of the ship blur as the ship lurched into hyperspace. The agonizing thought kept stabbing at his thoughts, _What if we don't get there in time?_ His mind, his heart could not accept that, and a single fervent prayer echoed in his mind. _Please, Revan, hold on._

The Exile flipped a few switches, putting the ship on autopilot for a while. Even in hyperspace, it was a long trip to Telos. She stood up and looked over at the Admiral. "I'm going to fix a drink, you want anything?"

"Huh? Oh, no, thank you." Realizing that he should try to distract himself from the worry gnawing at his soul, he got up and followed the Exile out of the cockpit. "I did have some questions though."

"No doubt, we've got plenty of time till we reach Telos. So ask away." She poured herself a drink and sat at the small table in the ship's galley.

Carth settled down across from her. "Well, you never said what this ship was called, or what happened to the _Ebon Hawk_."

She chuckled, "True. I named this one _Drifter_ , seemed to fit." She paused to sip her drink, and then continued. "As for the _Hawk_ , well… we had a bit of an overly rough landing on one of my trips out past the Hutt worlds. Someone decided the _Hawk_ didn't have enough holes in her, so proceeded to ventilate the ship with some heavy laser cannons. The damage forced us down, and the hard landing did even more damage. The ship just was too banged up to save. The _Hawk_ looked worse than it had after my trip back to Malachor, and I never thought that would have been possible."

"Who shot you down?"

She shrugged. "I have no idea, never found out, and I wondered if they'd just shot to be shooting, since no one came after me when I crashed. Hutt space is crazy that way, I usually try to avoid it, but I'd been following a lead there. Anyways, after having T3 help me to rip the navicomputer out of the Hawk, I sold what was left to a Toydarian salvager. I spent a few months just hopping ships from one place to another. I got lucky one night though, won the _Drifter_ in a rather heated game of pazaak. "

"Wait a minute! You won this ship in a pazaak game?"

She laughed and nodded, "Yep, although I'm not sure who was happier, me or HK-47."

The mischievous gleam in her eye caused him to shake his head, "Why's that?"

"I had put him up as my stakes, well, him and T3, but T3 didn't mind as much since he figured I was sure of winning. HK didn't share his confidence. Needless to say, I spent the next week listening to him complain, even though we won and I got the ship."

Carth laughed, "I can imagine. Speaking of the droids, where are they?"

"With Revan. Honestly I don't think anything short of blaster fire would have moved HK, and T3 asked to stay too, probably to keep HK from blasting anyone out of aggravation."

"Hm, I can see that. He was always devoted to her."

"Yeah, I never held any real illusion that he considered me his master for any reason beyond the fact that Revan had left him behind. No matter who technically 'owns' him, I don't think he's ever truly accepted anyone else as his Master."

"I'd have to agree with you on that. I don't think he ever really liked me."

"Admiral, HK-47 doesn't like _anyone_ , except Revan. "

"Point, it was often a toss-up as to which one was the more trigger happy, HK or Canderous."

"Well, there's a fundamental difference. The Mandalore has mellowed a bit over the years. HK's only gotten worse."

"Worse? Is that even possible?"

"Oh, yeah, it's possible."

The Exile emptied her drink, "Come on, we should probably head back up front. I trust my autopilot, but not completely."

* * *

When the _Drifter's_ control panels beeped and flashed, indicating the imminent return to real space, Carth's mind snapped back sharply to the reality of the present. His fervent, heartfelt prayer echoed constantly in his mind again. He hoped that Revan would be able to hold on, that they would arrive in time. The Exile glanced over at him, and said her own prayers. She could already see the anguish in his heart, the thought of what he would face if Revan was truly gone was more than she wanted to consider.

The ship shook and dropped out of hyperspace, and Carth couldn't help but smile fondly as his home world came into view. Telos had been through so much, suffered so much at the hands of the Sith. It brought him hope; the planet had a strength to it, a will to survive. It was beginning to prosper, much of its surface had been healed enough to be inhabitable again. Maybe the planet's strength could help Revan to hold on until he could get there, to be at her side again.

They landed and Carth was heading down the landing ramp even before the thrusters had fully shut down. The Exile hurried to catch up with him and she could imagine that it was taking every bit of control he had not to burst into a full run.

Carth's mind raced as they made the walk to the Hospital where the Exile had left Revan. To him, it felt like the walk took forever. The Exile checked in with the staff, and then led him through the facility to Revan's room. Relief washed over him at the news she was still alive, and upon entering the room he could think of nothing else.

He moved to the bedside and sat beside her. She was unconscious, and looking at her made his heart ache. Here was the woman who had helped the Republic win the Mandalorian War. As a Sith Lord she had held the galaxy in the palm of her hand. Even in their time together after the Endar Spire, he had been constantly amazed by her strength, courage, and determination as she pushed forward and eventually defeated Malak at the Star Forge. As she laid there now, her body badly broken and battered, he was struck by how very fragile she looked.

Leaning down, he gently kissed her cheek and whispered softly. "Hey, Beautiful. I know somewhere in there you can hear me. I'm here now, and I can't lose you again, not after just finding you. So please, Revan, don't you dare leave me again, ok?" He ignored the tears streaming down his face as he closed his eyes. "We've been through too much, and I'm not about to give up. I never gave up, Revan, I've been waiting for you all these years. Now don't you give up on me, either. I need you. Please come back to me."

Slowly, Carth stood and wiped his face, trying to regain his composure. He turned and walked over to where the Exile and the doctor stood. He looked at the Exile, and then at the doctor.

"So, what's the prognosis? How is she?"

The doctor's expression was grim. "Honestly, Admiral. In all the years I've served in the medical field, I have never seen anyone sustain the amount of damage she has, and survive. The fact that she is still alive at all is amazing."

The Exile chuckled slightly, "Well, doc, I told you she was tough."

He nodded, and then continued. "We've been able to get her condition stable, but for how long, I can't say. What she really needs now is beyond our means. There is little more we can do for her here."

"Could she be safely moved to Coruscant?"

"Possibly, though it would be risky. Much of the equipment keeping her stable isn't portable. We have some systems that are, but I can't guarantee that they'll be able to keep her fully stable all the way. As I understand it, it is a long way to Coruscant, even in hyperspace."

Carth nodded and looked back at the Exile. "What do you think?"

She shook her head, "It's your call, Admiral. You're the closest thing to family Revan has, unless you want to count the psychotic bucket of bolts over there." She pointed to HK-47. "He's not exactly known for rational thought, so it's up to you."

The comment about the assassin droid brought a smile to Carth's face, despite the severity of the situation. He nodded, "Alright. Doctor, do what you need to do, get her ready for the trip to Coruscant. "

The doctor nodded and headed off to see to the preparations. Carth looked back over to Revan, hoping and praying that everything would work out. He called to the two droids.

"HK, T3, come on, let's get back to the ship. The doctors need to be able to work, and we can wait for them to bring her to the ship."

T3 beeped and whistled worriedly, but obediently rolled over to where Carth and the Exile stood. HK-47 did not budge. The rust-hued assassin stood motionless, his photoreceptors focused on Revan's still form. Carth glanced over at the Exile, and she shrugged.

She stepped forward, "HK?"

"Irritated declaration: I have excellent hearing. I heard you the first time."

"Then come on, let's _go_." Her voice showed some hint of frustration.

"Refusal: No."

"HK, you can't stay here, you'll just get in the way."

For the first time, HK's head turned in their direction, his photoreceptors glowed a vicious shade of reddish orange. "Statement: I will remain with my _Master_." The emphasis on the last word was unmistakable.

The Exile sighed, her feelings had proven true. "Alright, fine. If you stay here, just don't get in the way and by the Force, don't blast anything!"

The droid walked over to where she stood, towering over her by a good foot and a half in height. He handed her the heavily modified blaster rifle he carried. She accepted the weapon, standing in shock. She could only blink as HK-47 silently returned to his position near Revan. She turned and handed the weapon off to Carth who also having difficulty believing what he just saw. He glanced back at the droid with a shake of his head and then turned to leave. The two humans left the room, with T3 following close behind as they headed back toward the _Drifter_ to wait.

* * *

The trip back to Coruscant was tense. Carth paced restlessly, HK-47 stood guard at the door of the ship's med bay, T3 wandered around the ship beeping and whirring worriedly, and the Exile tried to shove it all out of her mind and focus on flying the _Drifter_. As they entered the planet's orbit, she had transmitted a message to the major hospital, relaying the information from the doctors on Telos. They assured her they would be waiting and ready when she and Carth arrived with Revan. She whispered a silent prayer that they would truly be able to save Revan.

The _Drifter_ touched down and she was pleased to see a medical team standing by to take over moving Revan to the hospital. HK-47 growled and fumed over being forcibly denied the chance to stay by his Master's side. The Exile tried to console him, but he remained pointedly silent as he followed her and Carth as they made their own way to the hospital. Fortunately, his blaster rifle remained locked safely in the ship's weapons locker. Although she was aware that he still had other weapons built into him, it was a momentous occasion for the assassin droid to remain voluntarily 'unarmed'.

By the time they reached the hospital, the doctors were busy working and they weren't allowed to see Revan. Sighing, the Exile settled herself down on a bench in the waiting area and tried to shut out the restless pacing of the Admiral and the angry hissing voice of the assassin droid as he argued with himself. Finally Carth stopped pacing and stood in front of the droid.

"HK, I'd like to ask you something."

"Irritated response: What do you want, Meatbag?"

"Well, you were with Revan, before I arrived, did… was she conscious at any time?"

"Answer: No. The Master remained in her nonfunctional state the entire time."

Carth nodded sadly, "She took you with her though, when she left all those years ago…"

The rust-hued droid's photoreceptors flashed angrily and he turned his back to the Admiral in a pointed dismissal. Carth stifled a chuckle.

"Touched a nerve, eh? I'm sorry, HK, I know she eventually left you behind too. Hell, she left all of us behind. Oh, never mind." Carth sighed heavily and turned away from the droid.

Behind him, he could hear the hissing wheeze that was HK's version of a sigh. "Resignation: She did not want to, but she felt that she had to leave everyone in the end; to protect us. She always missed you, Meatbag, though I still fail to understand why."

Carth smiled weakly, "Thank you."

HK turned slightly, "Observation: We should go shoot something, to cheer ourselves up."

"Maybe later."

Pacified for the moment, the assassin droid returned to his personal musings and Carth returned to his pacing.

* * *

It felt like an eternity crawled by, one agonizing moment at a time. Finally the doors to the waiting area slid open and a weary looking doctor stepped into the room. Immediately locked in the gazes of two humans and a dangerous looking droid, he wiped the sweat from his forehead before speaking.

"I have to admit, I'm not really sure what was keeping her alive. We've managed to repair most of the damage, though there will be some permanent effects from it. I believe she'll pull through. Right now we're just waiting for her to regain consciousness. It's up to her now; we've done all we can to help her body heal."

Carth's heart and mind were doing flips and his voice cracked slightly as he spoke, "Can we see her?"

The doctor nodded, "However, I must warn you. Some of her body had been damaged beyond hope of repairing the natural parts, so just keep that in mind. She won't ever fully be back to what she was before, but she's alive." With that, he led them through the halls to Revan's room.

Carth nearly melted beside her bed as he looked down at the woman he'd come to love so deeply. Dark hair spread over the pillow beneath her head, softly framing her face. His mind brought forward the memory of her deep, sparkling sapphire eyes. He could see the scars, faint, but visible. One crossed from her left temple, down across her cheekbone. Other scars laced across her shoulders. It didn't matter, to him, she was still beautiful.

Revan's right hand had been replaced by a prosthetic, and her left hip had been shattered beyond repair. While they had been able to repair most of the damage, replacing the damaged joint and connecting bone, there was a good chance the injury would leave her with a permanent limp. A few of her ribs had also been replaced where the originals had been too badly damaged to fix. Her vital signs were steady however, and that gave Carth hope. She was still alive, and if she would just come to, he'd be happy.

No amount of urging would get either the Admiral or HK to move from Revan's bedside. The droid stood on her right, while Carth had pulled a chair over and sat at her left, gently holding her hand and praying. Shaking her head, the Exile slipped out of the room. She wasn't needed there. Whenever Revan did wake up, it was only fitting that they have some privacy. She returned to the _Drifter_ to get some long overdue sleep of her own.

Hours, days, weeks, time had blurred together and Carth no longer thought about how long he'd sat there beside her bed waiting for her to wake up. He had waited ten years to find her; he would continue to wait, no matter how long it took. Somewhere along the way he had fallen asleep, his head resting against her shoulder, his hand still holding hers.

HK-47 noticed it, a slight movement where there had been none. Focusing his photoreceptors, he wondered if he'd only imagined it, if droids could imagine anything. There! The slight flutter of her eyelids caused his gears to quiver with excitement.

"Master?" He spoke as quietly as he could, and was rewarded with another flutter and Revan's eyes opened slowly.

She blinked; everything in her mind was fuzzy, disjointed, and unfamiliar. Her last conscious memory was not reconciled with the images her mind was seeing now. Her body ached all over, and she felt horribly stiff. Slowly she tried to focus the haze in her mind. She became aware of the rusty visage looking down at her. _HK-47_ , her foggy memories told her. Becoming aware of another feeling, she noticed the slight weight against her left shoulder and turned her head slightly, although it hurt to move. The slight waves of brown hair with a few strands of silver mixed in, the ragged orange leather jacket, and the gentle touch of the hand holding hers told her all she needed to know.

"Carth?" Her voice was barely a whisper after being unused for so long. Still it reached deeply and his head snapped up at the sound, his warm brown eyes searching her face.

"Hey, Beautiful. Glad you came back."

She smiled weakly, "Silly Flyboy, I told you I would be back."

He leaned in and kissed her gently before leaning back to look at her again. He noticed her gaze didn't sparkle as bright as it once had. Clouds seemed to hover against the sapphire of her left eye, but he brushed it off. None of it mattered. She was alive, and she was back.

"Statement: Master, I must admit, it is very good to see you functional again."

She laughed, and hissed slightly at the pain from it. "Good to see you still in one piece, HK. I don't think I would say I'm fully functional yet, but I'm alive."

Reaching out, she gently caressed Carth's cheek. "I am sorry, Carth. I never meant to take so long coming home."

"Hush Gorgeous, it doesn't matter now."

"How did you find me?"

"The Exile found you, and brought me to you."

"Ah, always knew there was a reason I made Kyshara my General. She was the only one who could think like I did."

"I'm very grateful to her."

"I am too. It's good to be home again." She tried to take a deep breath and realized, painfully, that such a thing was not a good idea. "Ugh, I feel like I've been used as a chew toy for a Krayt dragon. I suppose I probably look about that bad too."

"I don't see anything wrong, Beautiful. You just need to finish healing."

"Carth?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for not giving up on me."


	2. Chapter 2

It took several weeks before the doctors were satisfied that Revan was healed enough to leave the hospital. However, she imagined that it would be even longer before Carth would stop fussing over her. The thought caused her to smile as she looked around his apartment. She couldn't blame him, and deep down was grateful that he hadn't given up on her.

The chime indicating someone at the door pulled Revan out of her thoughts. Under her breath, she cursed the stiffness that still lingered in her left hip causing her to limp slightly as she crossed the room. As the door opened, she stepped back with a chuckle.

The Exile smiled as she entered the room. "So how are you doing?"

Revan closed the door and moved back over to her seat. "Not bad, still getting used to some things, but it's getting better." She unconsciously flexed her new prosthetic right hand.

Kyshara nodded and for a moment the two women just looked at each other, their eyes saying what their words would not.

"So when are you leaving?"

Arching one eyebrow, the Exile laughed. "Is it that obvious?"

"Only to someone who knows you, Ky."

Kyshara shrugged, "It's just that… well, I have a hard time staying in one place for too long, especially after the War."

Revan felt the sting of that memory, understanding what that War had cost her friend.

"Ky, about that…"

Kyshara shook her head, "Revan, there's nothing to apologize for. We did what had to be done. I never blamed you, still don't."

Revan sighed, "Thank you. Still… I can't help but feel guilty for that."

"We all have our regrets, things we wish had turned out differently, but you can't dwell on them. Trust me, it took a while for me to learn that, but it's true."

"Yeah, you're right."

"Of course I am."

Revan laughed, "Modest as ever I see."

"Hey! I only learned from the best."

"What? Me? Nonsense!"

Kyshara grinned, "Oh don't give me that innocent look, Revan. Back then you didn't have a modest bone in your body, and I doubt you do even now, unless the doctors found one to put in there somewhere."

"Oh, hush! I wasn't that bad, was I?"

"No, not really, you're just fun to tease. You were never as bad as Malak was. I often wondered how one person could have an ego so big."

Revan chuckled, "He did have a knack of getting carried away with it, didn't he?"

Kyshara nodded, and then seemed to remember something, "Oh, I know you didn't ask, but the droids will be staying with you and Carth when I leave. I honestly don't think HK would go with me now even if I wanted him to. T3 might if I asked him to, but they're your droids, Revan, not mine."

Revan smiled, "I'm just glad to see them both still in one piece."

"Well, HK didn't start out that way."

"What?"

"He'd been damaged when I first found him in a storage room on the _Hawk_. It took me a while to get him put back together and working again."

"Ah, somehow that doesn't surprise me. HK was always very good at getting himself into situations like that."

Revan's brows furrowed as she seemed lost in thought for a minute. When she looked back up at her friend, Kyshara could see the question even as Revan asked it.

"Ky, I've been meaning to ask you, how did you find me?"

The Exile shrugged, "The Force. There's no other way to explain it, I never believed in luck. Do you remember anything?"

"Sometimes I think I do, but I'm never sure anymore. Whatever the Council did to my mind, or maybe it's part of the damage they said they couldn't really heal, I don't know, but I still have problems sometimes, remembering things properly."

Ky nodded, "Well, I found myself in a star system that was in the middle of some rather violent disagreements, and was nearly shot down by one side. Apparently it was the right side, because when I got them to talk to me, they told me of another like me who had been helping with their conflicts. So I demanded to see you, found out that it was actually you, but you had been hurt pretty badly. I convinced them to let me take you with me and when we got back in known space I took you to Telos which was the closest planet that could help you."

Revan leaned back in her chair, a distant look in her eyes. Kyshara suspected that she was trying to fit the pieces of her fragmented memories back together like a puzzle. She quietly stood and walked over to the window, glancing out across the city. Ky glanced over her shoulder as Revan walked up beside her.

"Thank you, I'm very grateful that you found me."

Ky nodded, "I'm glad I found you in time, too." Turning to look at her friend, she saw the shadows in her eyes. "So what will you do? You plan on sticking around this time?"

Revan nodded, "It's going to take me time to work through things, and there's more that I'll need to work through with Carth. I don't really think I'll be leaving again though, at least, I don't want to."

The Exile turned back to the window, her gaze drifting above and beyond the planet's surface. Revan followed Kyshara's gaze and she could feel the growing restlessness in the younger woman.

"Any idea where you'll go, Ky?"

Ky shook her head, "No, not really. I guess I'll just see where the Force takes me."

Revan studied the Exile for a moment, "Something tells me you left some people behind as well, when you went looking for me."

Ky looked over at Revan, "I did." She sighed heavily, and looked away. "It's complicated."

"It always is."

"I suppose you're right. I should get going though."

Revan nodded, understanding. "Leaving soon then?"

"Probably tomorrow. I'll send the droids over tonight, I was having them help me with a few things on the ship. Not sure if I'll have time to stop by again before I leave."

"Well, it was good to see you again, and you take care of yourself, Ky."

The Exile smiled, "You too, Revan, and tell Carth I said goodbye too."

"I will."

* * *

Carth stepped into the apartment and leaned against the door as it closed. He took a moment to let his eyes adjust to the dimmer lighting. A smile flickered over his face as he spotted Revan curled up on the sofa with a datapad. Revan looked up from the datapad and noticed the weariness in his face and stance.

"You look tired, Flyboy. Long day?"

He crossed the room and settled down on the sofa beside her. "Yeah, too much paperwork."

She sat the datapad on the table beside the sofa and scooted closer to him. Carth slipped his arm around her and she leaned against his shoulder with a warm smile. He studied her for a moment before speaking.

"So how are you doing, Beautiful?"

Revan glanced up to meet his gaze, "I'm fine."

He scowled slightly, "Then what's bothering you?"

She sighed; it never had been easy to hide her feelings around him. "Kyshara stopped by today."

"Oh?"

She nodded, "It was nice to have a chance to talk to her. She's planning on leaving tomorrow though."

"You're worried about her?"

"A little. She's got a lot of things she needs to resolve. I just hope things work out for her."

"I'm sure she'll be fine."

"You're probably right. Oh, she's also giving me the droids back, so they'll be here sometime tonight after they're done helping her with a few things before she leaves."

"Oh great, the overly cheerful, beeping trashcan and the psychotic, homicidal assassin droid are moving in now?"

"Carth! T3 is not a _trashcan_! He's a very sophisticated astromech, and HK is _not_ psychotic."

"You're not disputing the homicidal part though." His eyes sparkled with mischief as he teased her, knowing how fond she was of both droids.

She glared at him, "Of course he's homicidal! He's an _assassin_ droid. I didn't build him to be all sunshine and flowers."

He raised his hands in mock surrender. "Alright, alight! I give up."

Reaching behind herself, she grabbed one of the small throw pillows off the sofa and whacked him on the shoulder with it.

"Carth Onasi, you are so damn frustrating!"

"Me? What'd I do?" He adopted his most innocent look.

"Oh no, Flyboy, I'm not falling for that one."

He laughed and leaned back on the sofa with a grin. "Sorry, Gorgeous, but you're fun to pick on."

A mischievous gleam sparked in her sapphire eyes. "Oh really? Then you can just sleep here on the sofa tonight."

She got up and grabbed the datapad she had been working on, moving over to settle into her favorite chair. Finding himself alone on the sofa, he sighed.

"What are you working on?"

"Oh, just some things I want T3 to help me with when he gets here." She glanced over at him, "Carth, do you remember back when we were on Taris, after we rescued Bastila, how you gave her a hard time over losing her lightsaber?"

Carth laughed at the memory; though he was half surprised she remembered it. "Yeah, I remember, why?"

She sighed, a look of disgust flickering over her face. "Well, I managed to lose not one, but two lightsabers."

"I doubt it was because of the same situation. Bastila misplaced hers."

Revan shrugged, "Perhaps. Mine were probably lost on the battlefield where I was injured and the people I was helping wouldn't have understood their significance to me, especially if they thought I was dying anyway. Still, that means I need to build new ones, which means I have to try to find the right crystals."

"Why do you need them, and wouldn't the Jedi at the Temple have something you could use?"

As the words left his mouth, Carth realized he shouldn't have asked that question. The withering glare she met him with nearly froze the blood in his veins. He was sharply reminded that Revan _never_ liked being unprepared or unarmed. She was probably getting bored with just sitting around the apartment.

"I'm sorry, forget I asked."

She sighed heavily. "The only way the Temple might have the crystals I need would be to have the sabers they took from me when I was captured as the Sith Lord, and I highly doubt that. I never have used common crystals in my sabers, but I typically don't plan on replacing them often. This will be the third set of lightsabers I've had to build."

"So where are you going to get what you need?"

"That's part of what T3 is going to help me with. Aside from the crystals, the other components I need should be relatively easy to find."

He nodded. He wanted to say something else, but the door chime rang and he just decided to let it go. Getting up, he walked over and opened the door. The two droids moved into the room as he closed the door behind them.

"Statement: Greetings, Master. I am pleased to be fully back in your service."

"Beep whir whistle beep chirp" T3 chimed in.

Revan smiled, "It's good to see you both too. T3, I could actually use your help with something, if you don't mind." She held out the datapad, "I need you to search whatever sources you can find for the components on this list. I don't care where you find them; I know there's got to be someone who's got them for sale. Legit or smugglers, just find them."

"Beep beep chirp whistle?"

"Don't worry about the cost, I'll deal with that, I just need those parts and crystals."

"Chirp beep whir."

"Thank you, T3."

The little astromech went off in search of the computer terminal in the apartment to begin his search. She glanced over at HK who was standing near the door, blaster rifle ready as always. She couldn't help but smile as she remembered being told of his fierce determination to stay at her side while she had been hospitalized.

"HK, come here."

The rust hued assassin droid walked over to where she was seated. "Query: Yes, Master? Do you need something killed?"

She chuckled, "Not at the moment, HK. I just wanted to check you over, it looks like you got chewed up by a rancor and spit back out."

"Objection: Master! Please, I know I may not be at the peak of my performance, but I am still fully capable of burning holes in any meatbag you require to be removed from the galaxy."

"I'm sorry, HK, I know you've been through a lot. I think I can fix you up though, so hold still."

Revan opened a couple access panels on his frame and made a mental list of things she found in need of repair. Tweaking a few things here and there that could be done without too much effort, she became aware of just how extensive the damage to him was. Her brows furrowed in concentration as the mental list of what would be needed to restore the droid grew longer. Finally satisfied that she had done all she could without the parts and tools she needed for more advanced repairs, Revan leaned back in her seat.

"There, not done by any stretch, but I was able to fix a few things. How do you feel?"

HK-47 was quiet for a moment as he ran a diagnostic on himself. "Statement: Master, I feel much improved. Your efforts seem to have been rather successful."

She nodded, "Good. There are some other repairs I can make, but I need a few specialized parts and tools first."

"Thank you, Master." The droid returned to his place near the door.

Revan looked over at the sofa to see that Carth had fallen asleep. She went in search of T3 to add more parts and components to the list he was searching for. Satisfied that T3's searches would find what she needed, she patted the little astromech before leaving him to work. When Revan returned to the other room, she smiled softly. Carth was still asleep on the sofa.

She walked over to him and leaned over to gently kiss his cheek. "Come on, Flyboy."

He stirred and looked up at her, blinking the sleep from his eyes. "What?"

"Come on, let's go to bed."

"I distinctly remember you telling me that I was sleeping on the sofa tonight."

She smirked, "So? I changed my mind. You coming or not?" She held out her hand to him as she took a step back.

"Yeah, I'm coming, Beautiful."

* * *

The shrill beeping of the com unit jarred Carth out of a peaceful sleep. Glancing over, he saw Revan burrow deeper under the blankets to ignore the sound. With a sigh, he rolled over and pressed the button.

"Yes?"

"Greetings, Admiral Onasi."

"Ah, Master Shan, what can I do for you at this ridiculously early hour of the morning?"

"I do apologize for disturbing you, but I've received word that Revan returned. Why wasn't I notified earlier?"

He scowled. "Revan has been trying to recuperate from extensive injuries she received in the Unknown Regions. I have been respecting her wishes in that _no one_ was to be notified of her return until she decides that she's ready to deal with people crowding her about where she's been these last few years."

A momentary silence and Carth smirked to himself. It was rare when anyone could catch Bastila speechless for any length of time.

"I see. Well, please, let her know I asked about her, and notify me when she's ready for visitors."

"I will, Bastila."

"Thank you, goodbye."

The communication ended and Carth lay back down with a sigh. Revan rolled over to face him.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, Beautiful. It was kind of satisfying to see Bastila speechless, even for a moment."

She chuckled, "Yes, that is something of an accomplishment. I do want to see everyone again, really. Just… not yet."

"Shh, I know. You tell me when you're ready, Gorgeous, and I'll round everyone up and we'll throw a party."

A smile played across her lips, "Sounds like a plan."

He slipped his arm around her, pulling her against him. She kissed him softly and snuggled into his embrace, resting her head against his chest. She closed her eyes as she listened to the steady beating of his heart.


	3. Chapter 3

"You want to do what!?" Carth struggled to keep his composure as he faced Revan, noticing the stubborn gleam in her eyes.

"I need to go to Nar Shaddaa. I need two final crystals to complete my new lightsabers. There is a merchant on Nar Shaddaa that has them, but I have to go there to get them."

"Nar Shaddaa is dangerous, and I can't go with you right now."

"Carth, I know you're swamped with work, especially after all the time you took off to be with me while I was in the hospital. But I will be fine; I'm taking T3 and HK with me."

He sighed, looking absolutely miserable. Revan gently touched his cheek, reading the jumble of emotions she knew he wouldn't voice. He pulled her into his arms and held her tightly.

"I... I just got you back."

"Carth, I'm just going to Nar Shaddaa and then coming right back home. I'll even contact you when I get there and when I'm on my way back if that will make you happier. I just need those crystals and that's the only way to get them."

She looked up at him, his warm brown eyes filled with worry. He nodded.

"I learned a long time ago not to argue with you, Beautiful. Just please be careful."

She smiled, "I will be, I promise."

* * *

The trip to Nar Shaddaa reminded Revan quite clearly why she had always despised public transportation. She pulled the hood of her cloak further forward to conceal her face better as she stepped off the shuttle. Close behind her, the two droids seemed just as glad to be off the crowded transport.

"That does it, T3; we need to find a new ship before we head back to Coruscant."

The little astromech beeped in agreement.

"Alright, the plan is simple. We need to find the merchant who's got the crystals I need, find the merchant who has the last pieces we need to finish the repairs on HK, and find a ship. We should also find a temporary place to stay, since I expect we'll need a day or two to get everything done. Then we can get back to Coruscant."

As they had been walking, her senses began to prickle in a subtle warning. Stopping, her suspicions were confirmed as HK-47 moved closer to her.

"Observation: Master, I believe there are two meatbags that have been following us since we left the transport."

She nodded, "I sensed it too, HK. Be ready to fight if they're not friendly."

She could almost see the droid smile, "Statement: I am always ready for a fight, Master. This will be fun."

Turning around, she spotted a Rodian and Trandoshan approaching her. Both were armed and obviously intent on unpleasantness. Her brows knitted together briefly as she cursed once more the lack of her lightsabers. However, she was far from unarmed and the rust hued assassin beside her would more than make up for any lack of firepower on her part.

The two thugs drew closer and HK stepped forward, raising his rifle. "Warning, come any closer to the Master, and you will be blasted, meatbags."

The Trandoshan hissed and growled, "Give us your credits and we'll let you live."

Revan arched one eyebrow, "HK, shoot them. I have no patience for fools like these."

"Amused answer: With pleasure, Master."

The Trandoshan hit the ground with two smoking holes in his chest before he could even react. The Rodian shrieked and started to run but dropped only two paces away as HK blasted him from behind. Revan shook her head, and turned to continue on her way.

"Well done, HK." She glanced over and smiled. She could almost feel the satisfaction and pride whirring through HK's circuits.

* * *

"You like?" The Devaronian merchant asked.

Revan turned both crystals over in her hands again checking closely for any flaws that might hinder their use in her new sabers. Satisfied, she looked up and nodded. She handed him the credits they had agreed on and slipped the crystals into her pockets.

"I was actually surprised someone asked for crystals, not many people interested in them these days."

She smiled, blocking his attempt to gain information from her. "I have excellent sources."

The merchant nodded. "Well, a pleasure doing business with you. If I can be of any further service, just ask."

Revan shrugged noncommittally as she turned to leave. When they were well out of range of his hearing, she turned to the droids.

"We need to find a place to stay now, and I want to see if I can get the sabers built. I've been without them too long."

T3 beeped and chirped, saying there was a small hotel not far from their current location.

"Hmm, no doubt any accommodation here will be less than wonderful, but that should work. Lead on, T3."

* * *

The hours passed without notice as Revan focused her attention on the delicate adjustments she was making to her new lightsabers. The droids had remained quiet to prevent distracting her while she worked. Finally as the last crystal slid into place and was rotated to the precise angle needed to focus the weapon's beam, Revan let out a satisfied sigh. She finished putting the last touches on the hilt in her hands and laid it beside its mate.

She stretched, aware of the tension in muscles left unused for too long. Standing, she moved to the center of the room. Reaching out, she smiled as the sabers leapt to her hands. Igniting them both, she was pleased to see the steady beams respond without hesitation. The one in her left hand was violet, and the one in her right was a deep burning orange. Slowly she spun them, muscle memory responding as she controlled the arc and adjusted for the weight.

Slipping back into a long practiced routine, she worked her way through each of the forms. Switching the violet saber off, she clipped it to her belt and proceeded to flow into a different set of forms for using a single saber. Satisfied with her work, she finally extinguished the orange saber and clipped it to the other side of her belt.

Revan looked around the room as though seeing it for the first time. She had sent a message back to Carth letting him know she'd arrived safely when they had first gotten to the room. However after that she had become totally engrossed in the construction of the lightsabers. The room was small and dingy, typical of most of Nar Shaddaa. It would serve her purposes though; Revan wasn't planning on staying any longer than necessary to find what she was after.

"Thank you again, T3. You did a great job finding everything I needed for the sabers. They turned out perfectly."

T3 chirped and whirred happily, pleased with himself.

"Now, we just need to find the last few things I need to make the rest of the repairs to HK, and find us a decent ship." She turned to HK-47 who stood quietly, always ready for action. "HK?"

"Query: Yes, Master?"

"How long has it been since your assassination protocols were disabled?"

The orange glow of his photoreceptors flickered, as though he had blinked in surprise. "It has been a very long time, Master. I am afraid I'm not really sure."

She nodded, "Well, no matter. I intend to repair them along with a few other things, as well as cleaning up the mess others have made with their tampering along the way. By the time I'm done, HK, you'll be as good as new, if not better."

"Commentary: I very much look forward to that, Master."

* * *

Revan grabbed a rag to wipe the grease from her hands as she surveyed the various pieces and parts of HK-47 surrounding her. He had expressed a great deal of concern about the operation, but she had assured him that he would be fine. Beside her, T3 beeped and whirred.

"I know, he looks a mess right now, but we'll get him back together."

"Beep, whistle."

"Yes, T3, I meant what I said, I'm repairing his full assassination protocols as well. However, this time I'm locking them so that only I can activate them."

"Beep beep whistle chirp?"

"No, Carth doesn't need to know about this, T3, and he better not find out from you."

"Chirp whir beep?"

"Call it a hunch, but there may come a time when those protocols might be necessary again."

"Beep beep chirp whistle."

"You don't believe in hunches? T3, you really have been spending too much time around Jedi."

"Hum beep chirp whistle beep?"

She regarded the astromech for a moment before answering. "No, T3, I'm not a Jedi. Not anymore. Besides, given my relationship with Carth, the Order would never let me stay even if I wanted to." Noticing the way he rocked back and forth, she continued. "Not a Sith, either. I'm just me, T3."

"Whir beep chirp?"

"Because, if Carth knew, Carth would worry too much over nothing, so it is just better that he not know about the protocols being repaired."

T3 fell silent, obviously thinking over what she said. Revan picked up her tools and began the long process of putting HK-47 back together. It took her nearly as long as it had taken to build both lightsabers, but gradually the assassin droid regained his form as she rebuilt him. Finally, after flipping the last few connectors into place, she was rewarded by the soft humming whir as gears and systems began to power back up.

His photoreceptors flickered slightly before returning to their normal, fierce, glowing orange. Revan stepped back to admire her work.

"HK-47, run a diagnostic and report."

"Statement: All systems working at maximum efficiency, Master."

She nodded, "Assassination protocol test: Security code, nightfall."

"Confirmation: You wish me to terminate the Devaronian merchant, Master?"

"Negative, cancel protocol."

"Statement: Affirmative, Master. Protocol canceled."

Revan smiled, "Welcome back, HK."

"Commentary: It is very good to be back and fully functional again, Master."

* * *

The next day was spent almost entirely stalking the docks or hovering around the cantinas and pazaak dens. Revan knew somewhere someone on that moon had a ship they were willing to part with. Finally, making another round of the docks, she spotted a light freighter that caught her eye.

"T3, you see that freighter that just docked?"

"Beep."

"Find out what you can on it, I want to know who owns it and who's flying it, and anything else you can find."

Revan watched the little droid roll off in search of a public terminal he could hack into for the information. HK stepped up beside her, and she turned her attention to the assassin droid.

"Observation: Master, we could just blast the meatbags and take the ship."

She laughed, "We could, but Carth would never approve, and I don't believe that will be necessary."

"Disappointed answer: As you wish, Master."

T3 came back, whirring and beeping excitedly. Revan's smile grew as the droid mentioned the ship was listed as for sale.

"Perfect. Let's go."

As they approached the ship's loading ramp, she spotted a Nikto and a Duro talking to one another. Both turned, eyeing her warily, also noticing the well armed droid behind her. She stopped about ten feet away, without looking at the droids, she whispered. "Wait here." Stepping closer, she held out her hands in a display indicating she was not seeking hostilities.

"Which of you owns this vessel?" She nodded towards the ship.

The Duro stepped forward, "I do."

Slipping easily into Durese, she smiled, "I believe we have some business to discuss, business you will want to hear, but it is private business." She motioned for him to follow her. He glanced back at his companion, motioning for him to stay and then followed Revan. As she passed the droids, she gave a slight nod to HK. HK shifted to a ready stance, knowing that the nod had clearly meant ' _if the other one moves wrong, blast him'._

Stopping once they were out of earshot of anyone, the Duro spoke first. "What business you say we have?"

"I understand that your vessel may be for sale."

He eyed her suspiciously. "It might be."

She nodded, "I might be interested in purchasing the ship; however, I would need to inspect it to make sure that it will meet all of my needs before we discuss price."

He considered for a moment. "Alright. We go, you inspect ship. Then we talk."

They turned back to the ship and he led her on board. She scoured every part of the ship, checking everything thoroughly. Finally she was satisfied the ship would suit her purposes. As they stepped out of the ship, she motioned to HK, who moved to her side.

"So, let's talk price." The Duro shifted nervously as he eyed the rust hued droid. Revan smiled to herself. "My companion is only here to make certain that you don't get any ideas of trying to cheat me."

* * *

It had taken four hours for Revan to get the ship's registry and name changed in order to ensure they would have no trouble show up from the ship's past. Another two hours were spent thoroughly cleaning the stench of Duro and Nikto out of the ship and getting it fully stocked and provisioned for the trip back to Coruscant. As she finally settled into the pilot's seat, Revan was satisfied.

"T3, get the coordinates set for Coruscant. Once we're clear for the jump, we're headed home."

The astromech beeped an affirmative and did as he was told. Revan fired up the engines and slowly the newly christened _Crimson Hawk_ lifted off. Clearing the docks, she increased the speed and turned the ship skyward, happy to be leaving Nar Shaddaa behind. When they were well away from the moon, she sent another message to Carth, keeping her promise to him and letting him know she was on her way home.

T3 beeped letting her know they were clear enough for the jump. Revan nodded and flipped the controls and the star field blurred as the ship jumped into hyperspace. Leaning back in her chair, she allowed herself to actually sleep. While on Nar Shaddaa she hadn't relaxed enough for sleep, and now that they were safely in hyperspace, the fatigue caught up with her.

The _Crimson Hawk_ shook slightly as it dropped out of hyperspace and Revan could see the glittering cityscape that was Coruscant. Once inside the planet's atmosphere she checked the local time. She smiled, figuring Carth would be at home. She flipped on the com system and contacted the space port first, getting clearance to land. They cleared her to land and assigned her a docking bay. Revan thanked them and started maneuvering the ship toward the assigned bay. She keyed in something else on the com unit. Soon Carth's face appeared in the holo and she saw him smile.

"Hey, Beautiful."

"I didn't wake you up did I, Flyboy?"

"No, not that it matters. Where are you?"

"Coruscant. Just about to land, docking bay 37."

His smile grew even bigger. "Well, wait there, and I'll come meet you."

"Alright. See you soon, Carth."

She chuckled as she imagined Carth's reaction when he saw what she arrived on. Turning her attention back to the landing, Revan gently guided the small freighter into the docking bay. The landing thrusters hissed as they kicked in to help cushion the ship's touchdown. Once the ship had settled into place, she cut the engines and leaned back in her seat. She knew that it would take Carth a while to get there, so she took her time.

Revan ran through her post flight check to make sure no systems were showing problems. Slowly she eased herself out of the pilot's seat and headed into the main hold where the two droids were waiting for her. Reaching out with her mind, she could feel Carth. He was nearly there. She gathered up her pack and slipped her cloak back on.

"Come on, we're home. Let's go."

As she reached the bottom of the ramp she could feel the confusion in Carth's mind as he took in the sight of the ship sitting there. She chuckled to herself and waved to him. He walked over to her, scooping her up in a tight hug. Revan smiled and kissed his cheek before slipping out of the embrace.

"So, what do you think?"

He blinked, looked at her, and then looked at the ship again. "Where… how?"

Revan laughed, "That is the _Crimson Hawk_. Named in honor of the ship we spent so much time on."

"How'd you end up with it?"

She gave him a perfectly innocent look. "Nar Shaddaa is full of gamblers."

He shook his head. "You are unbelievable." Then, noticing the sabers on her belt, "I see you got your sabers built."

She nodded, unclipping them and igniting both of them. "Yes, I did and they turned out rather well." She switched them both off and returned them to her belt.

"I'm just glad you're home. I have to admit, I was worried about you."

"I know. Now, let's go home. Besides, we've got a party to plan."

He looked at her, seeing the sparkle in her eyes. "I suppose that means I need to contact everyone to let them know?"

Revan nodded, "Yeah, I'm ready. I miss the motley bunch and it's about time we let them know I'm home."


	4. Chapter 4

Revan stood staring out the window of the apartment. The old _Ebon Hawk_ crew would be arriving today for the party celebrating her being back. While she wanted to see everyone, part of her still wasn't sure she was ready to answer all the questions she knew would come. Carth had taken the day off from working and she could hear him in the kitchen fixing breakfast. She sighed and headed into the kitchen.

As she entered the room, Carth looked over with a smile. "Hey, Beautiful, breakfast is almost ready."

She smiled, "Thanks, Flyboy."

He caught the look in her eyes, "What's wrong?"

Revan shook her head, "Nothing…"

"Revan, talk to me."

She looked up at him, knowing how rarely he ever used her name. "It's just… I don't know. There are questions I know people are going to ask, and I'm still not sure I'm ready to answer all of them."

He nodded, "Just be honest with them. I'm sure everyone will understand. Well, Bastila might try to be pushy, but you can handle her."

She laughed, "You always were good at making me feel better. Thanks."

"Anything for you, Gorgeous." He dished up their breakfast and sat both plates on the table. "Now, come and eat. I don't want people thinking I haven't been feeding you."

Carth and Revan had decided to have the party at one of the parks, since it would be more comfortable than the small apartment. They arrived, with T3 and HK in tow, and weren't surprised to see that Bastila was already there waiting for them. Carth looked over at Revan, giving her a warm smile. She nodded and squeezed his hand gently.

"Let's go."

Bastila waved and hurried over to meet them. In a rare display of emotion she hugged Revan tightly before stepping back and trying to assume her more normal decorum. Revan smiled, slightly surprised.

"It is good to see you, Revan. How are you doing?"

"It's good to see you again too, Bastila. I've been doing well. Some things have been taking me some time to adjust to, but Carth's been a tremendous help with that."

Carth smiled as he slipped his arm around Revan's waist, his eyes twinkling with mischief. Revan couldn't help but notice brief flicker of embarrassment in Bastila's grey eyes.

"Oh, congratulations on becoming a Master. You certainly earned it."

Bastila blushed slightly, "Thank you."

"Carth! REVAN!" Came the unmistakable voice just as a blue blur wrapped itself around Revan and Carth, hugging them both at the same time.

Revan laughed and hugged the Twi'lek back. "Good to see you too, Mission."

No longer the scrawny fourteen year old she was when they first met, Mission still had the mischievous gleam in her eyes and a quick scoundrel's grin. She stepped back and seemed to be inspecting her friend. Revan could see the girl's brief frown as Mission's eyes glanced over her prosthetic right hand.

"Glad you're back, Revan, I missed you a lot." She hugged Revan again, as if to reassure herself that she wasn't dreaming.

"I'm glad to be back, Mission, and I missed you too."

A deep howl from a Wookiee signaled the arrival of Zaalbar who was closely followed by Jolee. Jolee hugged Revan first, before she was nearly buried in Wookiee fur as Zaalbar hugged her. Revan winced at the strength of the hug even though she knew he was trying to be gentle. Once he released her, she stepped back.

"Zaalbar, would you mind taking a walk with me? I'd like to talk to you, _alone_." She pointedly let her gaze sweep over the rest of the group.

Zaalbar nodded and followed her as she walked far enough away from the others to be out of hearing range. The rest of the group just looked at each other, slightly shocked.

 _What did you want to talk about?_ He tried to keep his growls lower so they wouldn't carry far.

"I know you probably have questions you want to ask me, and because I honor what we once shared, I will answer your questions first before any of the others."

 _It was difficult when you left without telling anyone. For a long time I felt like I had failed somehow, since I had sworn a life debt to you._ He took a deep breath and then shook his head _. I figured you had a good reason though, so I tried to do the best I could. I looked after Mission until she left on her own. Jolee stayed among the people of my village. I've been Chieftain since I returned, and we've regained most of what had been lost of our ways during the days of Czerka._

Revan placed one hand on his arm. "Zaalbar, you did more than I could ever have asked, more than I ever had any right to ask of you. I know it was wrong for me to leave without telling you, and I ask that you forgive me. You've been one of the best friends I could ever have asked for. You have more than paid your life debt to me Zaalbar, and I thank you for everything."

Zaalbar smiled and growled happily before scooping her into another brief hug. _It has been my honor to be your friend, Revan._

The two of them walked back to the rest of the group and Carth caught the slightly pained look on Revan's face. He moved over to her and slipped one arm gently around her waist. She smiled and leaned against his shoulder.

"You alright, Beautiful?"

Noting the sudden surge of concern across the group, she shrugged it off. "I'm fine, really. Hm, we're still missing Juhani."

"Canderous isn't here yet either." Bastila offered.

Revan chuckled; she had sensed the Mandalorian arrive before she'd moved off to speak with Zaalbar, although he was wearing a stealth generator.

"Oh, he's here, Bastila. He's been here since before Zaalbar and Jolee arrived, actually."

"Damn, how did you know?" Canderous said as his stealth field faded and he became visible to everyone.

"I could smell you." She teased.

"Hmph. I doubt that, and don't try to tell me it's because you're a Jedi. I was right beside the Princess there, and she didn't notice me."

Bastila shot him a withering glare, "Will you stop calling me that?"

Canderous only smirked.

Revan laughed. "It's an old trick of mine, Canderous. Let's just say, I'm very hard to sneak up on."

The Mandalorian shook his head, "Well, regardless, it's good to have you back, Revan."

"Thank you, I'm happy to be back." She turned her attention to Jolee, "What's the matter ol' man? You've been quiet which isn't like you."

"What? Can't an old man even stand around thinking to himself anymore?" He scowled.

She arched one eyebrow at him, "Jolee, you obviously have something on your mind, so spit it out."

He grumbled and walked off muttering under his breath about impatient young monkey lizards. Revan just laughed and shook her head.

"Juhani!" Mission called out, finally spotting the Cathar, "Over here!"

Juhani walked over to join the group and Revan could instantly feel the Cathar's keen eyes studying her. She met the gaze, arching one eyebrow slightly in a silent question. Juhani nodded and moved in to hug her tightly.

"Welcome home, Revan."

"Thank you, Juhani, I'm glad you could make it and I am happy to be home."

"Well, since everyone's finally here, Revan, did you want to get the food out now?" Carth asked as he stepped over beside her.

"Sure, Mission, you want to give me a hand?" She asked as she headed toward the speeder she and Carth were using.

"Sure!" Mission happily volunteered.

* * *

The group sat on blankets spread over the grass, relaxing after all the food had finally vanished. Gradually all of them turned their attention to Revan. She glanced around the loose circle they had formed and she could feel the questions hanging in the air, unasked.

Taking a deep breath, she broke the silence. "Alright, now that everyone's fed, I'm sure there are questions you guys want to ask."

Jolee nodded and was the first to speak up. "I do have a question. Did you find what you went out there looking for?"

Revan closed her eyes for a moment, memories flashing through her mind. Slowly she reopened her eyes and met his gaze. "Yes, I did. Although there were times I wished that I hadn't."

"What happened out there?" Canderous asked.

Revan sighed heavily, "A lot. War mostly, warfare like I had never seen before even in my worst nightmares." She looked around the group. "War is coming to the galaxy. I can't say when, but it will come. There's no stopping what's out there, waiting for its chance. I might have slowed it down, but you can't stop it."

"Revan?" Jolee's brows furrowed as he tried to find the best way to ask his next question. "I have to ask something else, but it isn't easy. Revan, even right now I can see the shadows in your eyes, I can feel a darkness there… are you sure you're alright?"

She locked her piercing sapphire eyes on him as she stood up, nearly bristling. "Am I alright?" She scoffed. "Why don't you come out and ask what you truly mean? Though, I would have expected that question to come from Bastila instead. You want to know if I fell again. You want me to tell you that I'm still the same servant of the Light that I was when I left." Her eyes flashed angrily. She raised her left hand, sparks of pale blue lightning danced across her fingertips briefly and then vanished. She exhaled sharply in disgust and shook her head.

Carth stood up and gently placed one hand on her shoulder, worry in his eyes. Her anger faded at his touch and she lowered her head with a sigh. After a moment, she looked back up at the old Jedi.

"Jolee, of course the shadows and darkness are there. They will _always_ be there. You can't become a Sith Lord without the darkness becoming a part of you. I have no intentions of being a Sith Lord, ever again, but I spent the last ten years in the middle of a living nightmare. There are things I saw that I will likely spend the rest of my life trying to _forget_. Unfortunately there are things I had to do to survive out there, things I had to do in order to slow them down that no _Jedi_ could ever do. I am no Jedi, honestly I'm not sure that I ever truly was, but I know I'm not one now. However, I can also assure you, I'm no Sith either. The darkness is there, but it will never control me."

Bastila stood up, "How can you say you're not a Jedi?"

"Bastila, the Jedi don't look favorably on attachments or emotion. Think about it."

"How are you so certain that the darkness won't eventually consume you again?" Juhani asked; her eyes narrowed slightly.

Revan glanced over at Carth who was still standing beside her and smiled. "Because I have a very good reason to make certain that it never does. Love doesn't survive in the darkness, and that love is what kept me alive out there. It gave me the strength to keep fighting, because for the first time in my life I had something truly worth living for. Granted, my return didn't happen quite like I had planned, but I am home and I'm grateful for that."

Carth pulled her into his arms, "You really mean that, Beautiful?"

She leaned against him, "With all my heart, Carth. You told me once before, as the shadow of the Star Forge loomed over us all, that you wanted to give me a reason to make the right choice. You did it then, and you have been my reason all along."

He smiled and kissed her softly, and then became aware of the group watching them. He gently brushed a stray lock of her hair back in place and whispered, "I love you."

She looked deep into his eyes and felt the last of the frustration and anger that had built up in her after Jolee's question melt away. "I love you too, Flyboy. We can talk later." She winked.

"Sheesh, you two never give it a rest do you?" Mission complained teasingly.

"We do too, Mission, or we wouldn't have had time to throw a party." Revan quipped.

The young Twi'lek blinked and then her eyes got bigger, "Revan! No! I did not need to hear that!"

Her reaction caused a chorus of laughter among the group shattering what was left of the tension they were feeling.

Bastila spoke up, "Revan, I need to ask you something."

"I can already guess what, but go ahead, Bastila."

"We had a very strong bond, from the day we met on that bridge, when Malak made his move and betrayed you. To have felt your presence in the back of my mind for so long, it was hard getting used to it being gone. I felt you sever that bond, without so much as a word, and then you just vanished. Do you have any idea how much that hurt?"

Revan sighed, "Yes, because I felt that emptiness after I'd severed the bond. I had no choice Bastila. I had to do it, for both our sakes. That bond would have been a risk to both of us where I was going and I couldn't accept that. I owe you my life, Bastila. I would have died on that bridge if you hadn't done what you did, and I can never thank you enough for that. It wasn't easy to undo a bond that strong, believe me. That's also why I couldn't tell you, if you had known I was going to try to sever the bond you could have tried resisting, and that would have been worse for both of us." She looked around the group, "I know that my leaving like I did hurt all of you, in one way or another, and I am sorry for that. All I can ask is that somehow, you can all forgive me."

"I just have one question, Revan. Why did you think you couldn't at least tell us what was going on?" Mission asked.

Revan smiled slightly, "Because knowing you guys like I do, you all would have insisted on going with me. I couldn't risk that, in case I had failed, I didn't want to be risking anyone's life but my own."

Mission nodded and walked over to hug Revan tightly again. "Then, I guess it's ok, since you're back now. Everything worked out right? So there's really nothing to forgive."

Revan returned the hug, blinking back tears as she remembered the young Twi'lek being the first to forgive and accept that she had once been Darth Revan. "Thanks, Mission."

Canderous nodded, "You know how I feel, Revan. I was disappointed that you wouldn't let me go with you, but you did what you needed to, and I respect that."

Zaalbar growled, _We've discussed the matter, as Mission said, there's nothing to forgive._

"I think you know how I feel too, Beautiful. I'm just happy to have you back."

Revan turned her gaze on the trio of Jedi, eyebrow arching in question.

"I forgive you, Revan."Juhani was the first of the three to speak.

Jolee nodded, "I forgive you too, and I was just worried about you, Lass. I don't like to see bad things happen to good people."

"I appreciate that, Jolee, and I understand your concerns."

Bastila stood up, carefully controlling her emotions. "Revan, could I speak to you, privately?"

Revan nodded and followed as Bastila turned and walked away from the group. When they were far enough from the others not to be overheard, Bastila turned to face her.

"I keep getting the feeling there's something you're still keeping from all of us, Revan."

Revan tilted her head, regarding the young Master carefully. "If you're looking for some earth shattering revelation, you won't find one, Bastila."

"I saw that little flash of lightning in your hand after Jolee questioned you before it disappeared. I don't even want to get into the nightmares that brought back."

She sighed, "I am sorry about that, Bastila."

Bastila shook her head, "Never mind, it just concerns me that such a dark power would still come so easily to you. Revan, you were always incredibly strong in the Force, but you seem to have gotten even stronger. Right now the Force I feel in you is stronger than nearly half the Council combined."

Revan put her hands on Bastila's shoulders and her sapphire gaze met Bastila's cool grey eyes. _You're worried that I'll end up misusing my powers?_

Bastila blinked, realizing that she _felt_ the words in her mind rather than hearing them. _How?_ She thought.

Revan chuckle. _We did have a strong bond, Bastila. I know the feel and rhythms of your mind. It's easy for me to touch a mind I'm familiar with._

Bastila smiled, _I guess it was just a shock after the emptiness you left behind._

"I can't give you the kind of guarantee you are probably looking for, Bastila. But I do know one thing for certain. I love Carth, more than I ever thought possible, and I will not do anything to hurt him again. As I said before, he is the reason I know that darkness within me will never gain control."

Bastila nodded, "Alright. It is good to have you back, Revan." She hugged Revan tightly. "Come on; let's get back to the others."

* * *

Carth returned to the main room of the apartment with two cups of tea but stopped as he saw her. Revan was sitting in the middle of the floor, her knees pulled up in front of her with her arms around them. Her face was hidden by the loose curtain of her jet dark hair as she leaned her head against her knees and arms. Carth sat the cups down on a nearby table and walked over to her. Kneeling beside her, he put a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"You alright?"

She sighed, but didn't say anything. She could feel his concern echoing through his touch as she felt his gentle hands slide across her shoulders, kneading out the knots of tension. Finally, she looked up at him.

"Well, my ribs actually managed to survive several Wookiee hugs, so I guess it's safe to say I'll live."

He gave her a sideways look, "That's good news, Beautiful. But I don't think you're telling me the whole truth."

She shook her head, "I'm just tired. I had forgotten how intense our little group could get. Looking back, it's a wonder we didn't end up driving each other mad cooped up on the _Ebon Hawk_ for so long."

Shifting into a cross-legged position, she focused her gaze on him. "What's on your mind, Flyboy?"

"Just worried about you, I guess I didn't realize how much it took out of you today."

The look in her eyes as Revan looked at him made Carth flinch. It had been a very long time since he had seen such a haunted expression on her face. She looked away, shoulders sagging slightly.

"Carth Onasi, you are a horrible liar. I can feel your questions hanging in the air; you might as well just ask them."

He sighed. "Reading my mind again?"

"I don't have to. Besides that, Carth, you should know better. I know what it's like to have someone else in your head, to feel them pulling your mind apart and putting it back together again. I don't look into anyone else's mind."

"I'm sorry. I didn't really think you were; it's just that you always seem to know what I'm thinking."

She managed a wry smile, "You think loudly sometimes. I can sense your emotions, and I've known you long enough to be able to guess things."

He shifted so that he was in front of her, and he felt his heart ache as she looked up at him with that haunted, tired look again. "I've just been wondering, how much of… everything do you remember?"

A half hearted chuckle escaped her. "Everything? You mean the jumbled, incoherent, tangled _mess_ that's been my life?" She lay back on the floor, her eyes closed tightly. "I've lost count of how many times over the years I would wake up to ask myself who I was only to realize I wasn't sure anymore. There are still gaps and holes, I can feel them. I don't know if they're a result of the injuries I suffered when Malak tried to blow my ship up with me on it or if they're the results of the Jedi Council's tampering as they poked and toyed with my mind. Because of that fact, I can't say that I'll ever really remember _everything_ ; but I remember the majority of my life."

She sat up and looked at him, "You know, I have enough trouble sorting out the memories of my own life, but thanks to the Council, I still have the memories they planted in my mind; memories of the life of a smuggler that never existed. There was a moment, just a brief moment mind you, but after the Star Forge was destroyed and everything was finished, there was a moment I considered going to the Council and asking them to remove those planted memories, so I could just focus on my own. I got over it though, and realized that I would rather have HK-47 put his blaster rifle to my head and pull the trigger than to have the Council anywhere near my mind again."

Carth pulled her into his arms and gently kissed her as she snuggled against his chest. "I'm sorry, Beautiful." Revan kissed him back and then placed a hand on his cheek, looking at him.

"You have another question?"

He shook his head, "It's not important."

A weak smile flickered over her lips, "But it is to you."

His brows furrowed and he looked down. She sighed heavily, and Carth thought he felt her trembling. Looking back up to her face, he saw the sadness in her eyes.

"Do you really need the answer to that question?"

"I know it shouldn't matter, not after all these years, but… there's a part of me that needs to know."

"Alright. Let me ask you something first."

He nodded.

"If a person trains an animal to attack and kill, and the animal kills someone, who is to blame? If someone sends an assassin droid like HK after a target, and the target is killed, who is at fault? Is the animal or the droid to blame, or is the master the guilty one?"

"Animals don't know any better, and droids can only follow their programming. The master would be responsible."

She nodded, her expression pained and weary, "So, by that same logic, the burden of guilt for _every_ death and act of destruction that Malak caused weighs on my shoulders. He was _my_ apprentice, so I am responsible for everything, even his fate. In the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter that he directly disobeyed my orders when he destroyed Telos, I was his master, so the destruction of Telos was my fault. Everything that Malak knew of war, he learned from me. I led him down that dark path. It's all _my_ fault. I was his Master." Tears spilled down her cheeks, despite her best efforts to keep from crying.

He held her tighter, feeling miserable that he'd cause her any pain with the memories. "But you said Malak disobeyed you?"

"Yes, I never wanted Telos destroyed, or even harmed. I told him to capture it, but without damage to the planet. I intended to use its natural resources. Malak however was angry with me over something and decided to use Telos as a loyalty test for his own pet Kath hound, Saul Karath, so he ordered the bombardments that destroyed the planet's surface. I am sorry, Carth."

She broke down, her shoulders shaking as she cried with her face buried against his neck as he held her. "Shh, it's alright, Beautiful. You can't blame yourself for what Malak did. He chose his own path; don't keep blaming yourself for that. Knowing that _you_ never wanted Telos to suffer, that's all I needed to hear. I can let it go, and you should too. It's all in the past."

Revan blinked against the tears that still wanted to fall, "Can you really forgive me?"

He gently brushed the tears from her cheek and nodded, "Yes, I can forgive you, Revan, I already have."

She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him softly, "Thank you; you have no idea how much it means to me to hear you say that. I love you, Carth."

"I love you too, Gorgeous. Now, come on, you're exhausted. It's been a long day, and I think it's time for bed.


End file.
